‘Twas The Night Prepper Style
By Adelia Ladson (with apologies to Clement Moore)
‘Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the ‘stead not a creature was stirring for fear he’d be shot dead. The bug-out bags were hung by the chimney with care because a good Prepper family is always prepared.
The children were nestled all snug in their beds while visions of beef jerky danced in their heads. And mamma in her tac-vest and I in my multi-wrap hood had just settled down to sleep if we could.
When all of a sudden, I knew something was the matter because all of the perimeter alarms were making a clatter. We sprung from our beds, each following the plan because we knew this was it, it had finally hit the fan.
I slowly peeked out the front window with care, I was ready for action and loaded for bear. When what to my wondering eyes did appear but a bullet-proof sleigh pulled by eight hefty reindeer.
The shady, bearded driver pulled the sleigh up real quick and I thought to myself, “Could it really be St. Nick?” Ducking down low like he expected to be shot, he landed the sleigh in our survival garden plot.
I opened the door slowly because you just never know and with his arms raised, he jumped out in the snow. He was dressed in urban camo from his jungle boots to his head and I thought, “Hey! Isn’t his suit supposed to be red?”
He reached in his sleigh and only pulled out his pack, when I nodded my head that I wouldn’t attack. He said, “Here’s ammo and camo and gas masks and seed. A LifeStraw, a pocket saw and other gear that you need.”
He sprang to his sleigh and said, “Don’t you fret, your perimeter alarms have all been reset.” He grabbed up the reins and to his team gave a shout and away they all flew like they were just bugging-out.
But I heard him exclaim as he flew out of sight, “Happy Prepping to all and to all a good night!”